Whoops! Somebody Uploaded Their Cover Letter by Mistake!

Dear Mr Store Guy,

I'd like to apologise for hitting you with my car. That was my bad, but I think you'll agree that we all make mistakes from time to time, and what really counts is that you own up to them (but also, you shouldn't have antagonised me by wearing a hat.)

I will never wear a hat for you but I would like to apply for a job in your inflatable furniture store. I am a hard worker who'se only been fired from one job before, and that was for stealing some of their stock because it was really nice stuff. Don't worry though, I'm sure you'll have nothing to worry about! 

You'll want to employ me because I'm a big celebrity and will attract lots of people to come into the store once they find out I work there - you might need to up your marekting budget to get the word out, but it will pay off tenfold for you. I also scored a "B" grade in my Level Five trumpet exam, so I'm uniquely qualified to infalte any of the furniture you require. Added bonus: if you let me sleep in the store, I promise to be on-time for work most mornings.

Anyways, I'd better go soon. My boss is looking at me funny, says I have to get back to work and write something for the website. It's a good thing I'm really organised and attentive to details, and am not the kind of person who'd upload the wrong document to the wrong link. Trust me.

I repeat, you can definitely trust me. Don't listen to my references, they're all liars. Actually, they're talking about somebody else who used to work for them with the same name as me, unless they say something positive. Capiche?

Yours sincerely,

The Big Dog.